There’s trouble afoot at the happiest place on Earth, according to a sensational report on Motherboard with a ton of juicy inside details from a secret source. As it is every four or eight years, the Disney World’s Hall of Presidents attraction is currently in the process of adding a new member to it’s all robot cast: President Donald Trump.
Disney originally planned to add a Hillary Clinton robot to the show, even reportedly talking to her people about it before the election, but as we all know things turned out differently (which may have been for the best, because the prototype Clinton bot kept insisting on storing its memory banks on a private server.) The current president is always added to the Hall of Presidents once elected, and for the previous three — Presidents Obama, Bush, and Clinton — the presidents have even recorded their own speaking parts.
But Disney hasn’t been able to get Donald Trump to record his lines yet, possibly because the president is too busy dealing with an endless stream of scandals. That might actually be for the best, because some protestors don’t want Robot Trump to speak in the show at all, partially out of fear for what he might say. Would the Trump bot talk to park visitors about its crowd size? Would it blurt out classified information if anyone in the audience has a vaguely Russian-sounding accent? Would it tell them what it thinks it’s allowed to do to fembots, now that it’s both famous *and* president? It’s a question, perhaps, best left unanswered — and for the time being, it is.
It’s unfortunate for Disney, because one wouldn’t expect them to have so much trouble getting the president to say a few words. It’s certainly not like he’s shy. Plus, they have an inside connection. Ike Perlmutter, Chairman of Marvel and, thanks to the sale of the company to Disney, one of Disney’s major individual shareholders, is a personal friend of Trump’s, frequently dining with the president at Mar-a-lago, and serving as an advisor on veterans’ healthcare. Couldn’t Ike get his pal to record a few lines for the company so it can get this popular show back up and running?
Alas, Disney seem to be the only ones unable to leverage a personal connection for access to the president, and so Disney’s famed Hall of Presidents is currently closed for maintenance. Hopefully they’ll get things back on track soon, before the impeachment proceedings begin, and they have to start all over with robot President Mike Pence.
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